Wow, what an overwhelming few weeks. I am still shocked and overjoyed by this news, I still cannot believe we received our referral for this beautiful, amazing, baby girl. I have to admit, I am struggling at work, it's been hard to focus on anything else but her. The support we have had from family, friends, and coworkers has been amazing.
The most common questions we have been receiving is what's next? When do you get to travel? Before we can get on that jet plane, a few things have to happen. First, our case needs to go before an Ethiopian judge. We are now waiting for our case to be scheduled in their court system. We are hoping and praying that we get scheduled prior to August 1. You see, as of August 1, the Ethiopian courts are closed for two months during the rainy season. If we don't get scheduled before then, it will be October before the courts re-open and just that much farther out our travel will be. We have been told by our agency that they are quite hopeful that we will make it. Once the judge declares us as her legal parents, then we wait for a birth certificate. Once that arrives, then we can schedule travel. If we make it before the court closure, I am hopeful we will travel in September.
People are also asking us about her circumstances that led her to be placed into the orphanage. This is something we are not going to share with anyone as this is her life, her story to tell if she so desires once she is old enough to understand.
For the sake of this blog, I will call her Little Miss B as I don't want to reveal her name until we pass court. As much as I want to show you all how beautiful she is, I also cannot post any pictures until then. You will just have to be patient and trust me when I say she is the most beautiful, precious, baby with a perfect pout and big brown eyes.
Last Friday, June 19, 2009, we received the call that we have been waiting to get for over 14 months. It was the call that changed our lives. At 3:30 pm I was at work when my cell phone started ringing. I noticed it was our social worker, but I just thought the call was something to do with our home study since it's about time to have it updated. I answered my phone and the first thing I heard was "It's a girl!" I for sure thought I was hearing things and I said "WHAT?" I think I said what a hundred times. Then after that, I think I said OMG a hundred times. Julie, she is our social worker, asked If I wanted to hear any more information. I said no, not without my husband. So I hung up with Julie, called Randy and tried to tell him the news, but I think I was crying at this point. I finally spit it out and said I was leaving work right then and there so we could speak with Julie together. I ran out the door like a crazy women and drove what seemed like the longest drive ever. I got home, hugged Randy, and then we sat down together and reviewed the referral as we spoke with Julie. She is a healthy and beautiful 5 month old baby girl. We cannot stop staring and studying her picture. What a wonderful Father's Day. Three days later and we are still in shock.
We hit our 14th month of waiting last week. 14 months. Never in a million years did I think we would still be waiting for our referral at this point. If we don't receive and accept a referral by the end of this week, we are quite certain our Ethiopian court hearing will not be scheduled until after the rainy season. During the rainy season, which runs from August - September, the courts are closed. What this means is we would have to wait an additional 2 months, already on top of the 12-16 weeks after referral, until we travel to pick up our son or daughter. I have been on edge all week as I am hoping and praying we hear some news. I spoke with our social worker today and she said she is very, very confident we will hear something soon. I am not sure what she meant by soon, as it seems we have been hearing this for some time now. Did she mean soon as in today, soon as in this week, soon as in this month? I jump every time my work or cell phone rings. My mind is constantly wandering, I am having a hard time focusing at work, I just want to know that this is really going to happen.
As all you faithful readers, family and friends know, my Mom was diagnosed with breast cancer this past year. In celebration of her, I decided to put a team together for our city's Susan G. Komen's Race for the Cure which is being held this Saturday. I am excited to say we have 21 team participants including family and friends. We decided to do a play on words so our team name is "Creating Great Mammaries". So far we have raised about $1300. Just an update on my Mom, she had her last chemo treatment in March, and she is just about to finish her six weeks of radiation. As she says, she feels great from the waist up, however, she is struggling with tingling, numbness, and pain in her feet. She is having trouble walking and keeping her balance so she is currently using a cane. It's a common side effect from chemo, although her doctors have said it's rare to see it this bad. I love my mom of course, but I just want to say how much I admire her as a woman. She is so strong and I have never once heard her complain or ask "why me?" about this situation that has been dealt to her.
On the adoption front, referrals are very slow, in fact, we have a conference call with our agency next week to discuss the increased wait times. There have been a few referrals this month and we have now moved to number 6 on the unofficial list, however I am going to say 4 since two families in front of us are waiting for siblings. There was however, two long time waiting families that received sibling referrals this week. Great news for them since they have been waiting for almost 17 months.
Another Mother's day has come and gone and we still don't have any news. Last Saturday marked our 13th month of waiting. We are number 8 on the unofficial waiting list, but when people ask I say we are holding at number 5 since three families ahead of us our waiting for siblings.
We have been doing what we can to stay busy. I started a team to walk in our local Susan G. Komen Race for the cure on May 30. Recruiting teammates and pledges has kept my mind off of our referral somewhat. Last Saturday we built a small deck for the front of our house. Tomorrow is our 8th wedding anniversary so we are going to the Brewer game which is something we both love to do. I've said it before and I will say it again, we are blessed to have wonderful families and friends that have been there to support us during this time. The wait was fairly easy for us up until we hit our 10-11 month mark. Now it's getting downright difficult.
A couple of weeks ago we hit one year that we have been officially waiting for our referral. April 9, 2008 we got word from our agency that our all of our paper work was approved and we were officially put on the waiting list. At that time we thought our wait would be between 6-9 months. How things have changed. Our year "waitiversary" has passed, and it still seems like we have a ways to go. We are number 10 on the unofficial list, however, I say 7 as there are three families ahead of us waiting for siblings. Our social worker told us we are so close to our referral, it's just a matter of time before some infants come into care and are cleared for referral. Here is a great blog post called "The Weight of the Wait" written by another "waiting" mother. Please take the time to read it as she captures the essence of the "wait" so beautifully. http://www.mindful-mama.com/blogs/thrive/archive/2009/04/17/adoption-the-weight-of-the-wait.aspx
...to adoptive parents. I have been wanting to post this for a while, not for the intentions of offending anyone, but just to make people aware of what they are saying.
Why do you have to pay so much for a baby?
Babies don't cost money, adoption costs money.
Your child is so lucky.
No, we are the lucky ones. How lucky is a child that is born into a situation where he/she cannot stay with his or her birth family?
There are so many kids needing homes here in the states, why another country?
Children all over the world need loving homes.
Now that you've adopted, you'll get pregnant.
Everyone has a story about how their co-worker's cousin's best friend got pregnant shortly after they adopted. The statistics show this really doesn't happen, and to me it implies that an adoptive child isn't as worthy as a biological child.
So yesterday Randy and I and another couple went golfing. Yes, golfing in Wisconsin on March 22. It was absolutely beautiful. The snow is completely gone, however, the grass is still brown. There are no leaves on the trees, and if your ball landed in the water, it would just sit atop of the ice. But days as nice as yesterday don't come around too often this time of year so it was wonderful to be able to swing the clubs. This weekend it's suppose to snow. The saying around here is "if you don't like the weather, stick around for five minutes."
Adoption news; we are now sitting at lucky number 13 on the "list". I know we are so close to getting our referral; it's driving me nuts. Since my last post we hit 11 months of officially waiting. I am doing what I can to keep busy. This weekend I am going out of town with the girls, we are heading up to the Dells for the weekend. There will be lots of food, drink, and a ton of laughs.
Well, it has been a while. I don't really have a reason as to why I haven't posted in a while, I guess some of it may be because I am on a computer all day long at work, sometimes the last thing I want to do is come home and be on the computer. Another reason may be that I just don't think my blog is that good. I have been reading some really great blogs and mine is just, well, kind of boring. OK, really boring. For all I know, no one is reading this thing anyway. Well, I know I have some family and friends that read it, so I will continue on.
Since my last post, we had several families pass thru court. This means that in the eyes of the Ethiopian government, that child is legally theirs. The kiddos were absolutely adorable and I thank those families that have shared pictures. Also, some families had their court dates moved up from May to April so that is wonderful news as well. Not sure why, but all the sooner these families can be united. And on the referral front, we have moved up another three places on the "list" so we are sitting at 15. I heard from my specialist this week that more referrals are going out during the month of March, however, she doesn't know when or how many.
Today a great discussion was had on my agency's forum about using hair appliances such as a blow dryer or flat iron when at the guest house in Ethiopia. (The guest house is where we will stay while in country). I for one, cannot live without my blow dryer. I am just that vain. I heard stories about sparks flying out, adapters blowing up, losing all power in the building due to blow dryers, etc. I guess I'd better save some room in my luggage for bandannas, head bands, hats, you name it. Maybe I will try one of those travel blow dryers that has the duel voltage. Who knows, I will probably have more important things on my mind that week that I won't even think about my hair.
